Take 2

Looking in the mirror, do we always see the spitting image of our parents? When it comes to building uniqueness in a character, it is not always “like father, like son” or “like mother, like daughter.” Even though most people are raised by their parents, who help to develop and strengthen their child's identity growing up, other family members and friends are also contributing factors on how self-identity is formed. Whether it be a coach, babysitter or even a teacher, numerous people (excluding your parents), can have a profound impact on building one’s identity.

For most, family is not always “thicker than blood”. The majority of youth today seem like they have to explore other areas for further guidance in developing their identity. It is not uncommon in this century for children and young adults to seek out their teacher or maybe even a football coach for self-guidance or mentoring. With the pressure of finding a job or achieving success in school people sometimes get off the path of finding they are by trying to become something they are not-- it happens all the time in schools. In The Overachievers, Alexandra Robbins explains that a number of parents are pressuring their children to do well, making them become overachievers. In the long run, “it contributes directly to young adults’ paralyzing fear of failure” (252; ed. 2, ch. 3). Instead of children talking with their parents and explaining to them that they want to take control of their life and build their own structured character, they are turning to “other” role models to answer their questions of, “Why am I here,” and “What am I going to do from now on?” When I was a sophomore in high school I was addicted to MMORPG’s or Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Games. Finding me in my room, playing a random game after school was a normal thing to do. Getting in trouble or even talking with my mom was not an option due to the fact that she was working majority of the time and when she arrived home, she did not want to interact with anyone. One day, my friend now, mentor and teacher then, pulled me aside and talked about the importance of striving for a good education. I was on the slippery slope to failing most of my classes. He enlightened me to stand back and look at where I was at in life. I did not take gratification into the reflection that I saw and what I was becoming. Thanks to my mentor, I was able to break free from the fast growing addiction of the MMO world.

In the same way that teachers and coaches can provide guidance, friends and other relatives can provide the same amount of guidance and help to reinforce one’s self-image. Unfortunately, many teenagers feel they need to “conform” to their friends to be “popular”. There are teenagers who feel their identity is based off what activities they are involved in and who they hang out with. In Emily White’s story, High School’s Secret Life, “Their conformity is remarkable; it is not a cop-out but a way of broadcasting the fact that you aren’t a weirdo, that you are speaking in the signs of the chosen ones”(18; ed. 2, ch. 1). Many teenagers though, tend to have a “best friend(s)”, who most likely will share the same interests, and who are able to communicate important topics and can be sure that they are both trying to find their “place” in this world. That best friend is a great contributor to how self identity is formed. Hopefully, they can help steer their friend into building a strong character.

When building a sense of identity we will listen and take advice from our friends and mentors, but when it comes to our elders, do we really give them the time and day? The vast majority of people are inclined to brush off the advice and wisdom our elders have to give. Little do people know, these ancestors can provide people with the insight needed to help develop a strong personal being. They can give us the foundation to build our self-identification on. By teaching, hopefully, the good customs and traditions, grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc., they can help us to understand important knowledge that can be used to shape who a person is or who they will become. For instance, growing up, my grandparents did not have a lot of material items—they did not spend what they did not have. They produced their own morals and values. These morals and values were some of the things that my grandparents tried to teach me growing up. In the end It was up to me, to choose if I wanted to listen to them and take their advice and knowledge. It was up to me if I wanted to take that advice and knowledge and use it to compose my pronounced self-image.

Whether it is someone’s mentor, teacher, aunt, grandfather, neighbor, or a close friend, there will always be a multitude of contributing factors to building a person’s foundation of self-identity. The next time you look in the mirror, stare back at the reflection. Hopefully, you can see all of the important people who have helped to shape who you have become.

Revision:

Looking in the mirror, we do not always see the spitting image of our parents. When it comes to building uniqueness in a character, it is not always “like father, like son” or “like mother, like daughter.” Even though most people are raised by their parents, who help to develop and strengthen their child's identity growing up, other family members and friends are also contributing factors on how self-identity is formed. Whether it be a coach, babysitter or even a teacher, numerous people (excluding your parents), can have a profound impact on building one’s identity.

For most, family is not always “thicker than blood”. Youth today seem like they have to explore other areas for further guidance in developing their identity. It is not uncommon in this century for children and young adults to seek out their teacher or maybe even a football coach for self-guidance or mentoring. With the pressure of finding a job or achieving success in school people sometimes get off the path of finding they are by trying to become something they are not-- it happens all the time in schools. In “The Overachievers”, Alexandra Robbins explains that a number of parents are pressuring their children to do well, making them into overachievers. In the long run, “it contributes directly to young adults’ paralyzing fear of failure” (252; ed. 2, ch. 3). Instead of children talking with their parents and explaining to them that they want to take control of their life and build their own structured character, they are turning to “other” role models to answer their questions of, “Why am I here?” and “What am I going to do from now on?” When I was a sophomore in high school, I was addicted to MMORPG’s or Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Games. Finding me in my room, playing a random game after school was a normal thing to do. Getting in trouble or even talking with my mom was not an option due to the fact that she was always working. The majority of the time and when she arrived home, she did not want to interact with anyone. One day, my friend now, mentor and teacher then, pulled me aside and talked about the importance of striving for a good education. I was on the slippery slope to failing most of my classes. He enlightened me to stand back and look at where I was at in life. I did not take gratification into the reflection that I saw and what I was becoming. Thanks to my mentor, I was able to break free from the fast growing addiction of the MMO world. This helped my identity to not be corrupted with conformity that people are so used to, surrounding the media today. Without a supportive community, one’s sense of identity could change, become lost, or, depending on the situation, grow.

In the same way that teachers and coaches can provide guidance, friends and other relatives can provide the same amount of guidance and help to reinforce one’s self-image. Unfortunately, many teenagers feel they need to “conform” to their friends to be “popular.” There are teenagers who feel their identity is based off what activities they are involved in and who they hang out with. In Emily White’s story, High School’s Secret Life, “Their conformity is remarkable; it is not a cop-out but a way of broadcasting the fact that you aren’t a weirdo, that you are speaking in the signs of the chosen ones”(18; ed. 2, ch. 1). Many teenagers though, tend to have a “best friend(s)”, who most likely will share the same interests, and who are able to communicate important topics and can be sure that they are both trying to find their “place” in this world. That best friend is a great contributor to how self identity is formed. They can help, guide, support, defend and sometimes even get into trouble for their friend. Their loyalty can cause a friend to create strong, meaningful emotions, which will help to build or add to a good solid identity.

When building a sense of identity, we will listen and take advice from our friends and mentors, but when it comes to our elders, we sometime do not give the time of day. The youth feel that they know everything, therefore the opinions and advice of older generations do not matter. The vast majority of people are inclined to brush off the advice and wisdom our elders have to give. Little do people know, these ancestors can provide people with the insight needed to help develop a strong personal being. They can give us the foundation to self-identification on. By teaching, hopefully, the good customs and traditions, grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc., they can help us to understand important knowledge that can be used to shape who a person is or who they will become. For instance, growing up, my grandparents did not have a lot of material items—they wouldn’t buy things they did not need. Many times, they wouldn’t buy things they even wanted. They produced their own morals and values. These morals and values were some of the things that my grandparents tried to teach me growing up. They wanted to teach me these items so I could in turn build a strong foundation for my identity to be built upon. In the end it was up to me, to choose if I wanted to listen to them and take their advice and knowledge. It was up to me if I wanted to take that advice and knowledge and use it to compose my pronounced self-image.

Whether it is someone’s mentor, teacher, aunt, grandfather, neighbor, or a close friend, there will always be a multitude of contributing factors to building a person’s foundation of self-identity. The next time we look in the mirror, let us stare back at the reflection. Hopefully, we can see all of the important people who have helped to shape who we have become.